truth is, cellflove hasn’t always been my first choice.

~i’m thankful for clarin (@nownowspace) for these captures of me circa 2016, eswatini, africa.

from nicknames, to music videos, stereotypes, to backhanded compliments, i’ve always been aware of my skintone, and the texture of my hair. they had for long become these seemingly inescapable characteristics of mines, and my mother’s too. even with all those moments spent depigmenting in the shower. even with all those saturdays in some aunty’s backyard or that neighborhood salon chair painfully hot combing, and perming pride down our shoulders. all this solar energy forgone chasing shade, and value. all this staying dry and inactive. decades in a dis-ease relationship with ourcellsves; well, with mycellf. 

some spring day in 2015 tho, somewhere between itchy scalp, flaky curls, and ashy elbows, i began creating my own bodycare medicines. 

experimenting, 

playing, 

observing. 

recognizing, 

acknowledging, 

believing, 

being. 

doing me; a service spending quality time nourishing mycellf from the crown of my head to the root of my feet. unpacking experiences. innerstanding choices made in lack; of cellf-knowing, cellf-acceptance, and cellf-worth. remembering that i am sacredness embodied. remembering that my thoughts have power, generating energies in motion, transforming cells inside out, and vibrating into realities. so with every passing moment, i’m a little more intentional ABOUT what energies i receive; filtering through consumption with all 6 senses. from food, to instagram, to loved ones even. honoring cellf-preservation. 

truth is, i’m still learning. 

but truth is, i’m really enjoying mycellf.

I’m an heartwork in progress. And that’s liberating to say.

may more peace and blessings find you always, and in all ways,

nuru, your reflection