unshaved and unashamed: armpit hair in 2021
just to be clear, this isn’t me shaming those of us who shave. after all, it is your body, so hopefully you are moving ‘bout this life as you please. i’m just happy, i’m finally here. so i’m sharing.
it musta been 2016, somewhere between ann arbor, and nkamanzi, i had been feeling out my own natural deodorants, so i progressively stopped shaving. i remember tho, still CONSCIOUSLY willing to challenge myself to feel unashamed by what my body naturally does, and that is to grow hair to protect and serve my healthy existence. i wanted to face the feeling. to be right in the thick of it. AND SEE ME, FULLY. so i grew it out, all around.
since i can remember ever really using deodorants, my body been mad. i can’t really say there was much thought behind why i started back in 2005. i was maybe 15 learning about this growing body from tv and magazines, friends and classmates, a cancer mom and an immature mind. somewhere in all that influencing, i was deluded into feeling like shaving made me more attractive AND IF NOT THAT, AT LEAST HYGIENIC. and i DON’T KNOW: it felt like a natural progression to use deodorants too. in testing what works half misinformed, half grown, i remember getting these cystic and painful inflammations in my underarms, just pulsing and pussing for daysss! i couldn’t even close my arms! this experience had highkey traumatized me into making more conscious deodorant choices.
but then, i experienced what felt like this very common skin condition amongst black girls around me at the time. between the shaving, and the deodorants, my underarms became shades darker than they should be. like, they staaayed hyper-pigmented. and even at times felt tight, and itchy particularly in the outer creases. i wasn’t ever diagnosed, but Acanthosis nigricans might be what it was (examples pictured here are of me with shaved armpits from late 2008, 2010, 2013 respectively). and i lived years like this. in my case, it was minor, but still. i felt uncomfortable. embarrassed. and irritated even. not that it was anything to feel less than about, but let’s be real, the beauty trends i’ve hadda evolve past over my teen to adulthood haven’t been all that inclusive, if even. quite unforgiving, and unrealistic if anything. between stereotypes and expectations, it’s been quite discouraged to be as you are. besides, i’ve long been told that armpit hair actually worsen body odor. and at the time, as an extremely insecure, and misled young persun prioritizing the male gaze, i felt: “well, you can’t be a skinny, dark-skinned female with funky and hairy armpits, like sis, pick your battles.” so i continued to shave.
and amidst all that illusion, i tried name brand DEODORANTs, some costlier than others, and even some without this or without that. but none of it ever really curbed the bacteria that kept on congregating in my pits. even when i hopelessly reapplied ‘em TIME AND TIME AGAIN. since none else was really working, I STARTED CREATING MY OWN. i LOOKED TO natural recipes online. a bit of bentonyte clay, some baking soda, some cornstarch or arrowroot powder, some beeswax, some shea butter, some essential oils, you know? I remixed them overtime until i manifested one that worked for me. and i seen my armpits slowly return to their natural color. it felt like i was finally figuring my cells out. like no one could take care of me like i can. AND maybe it was the high of that, but i eventually FELT MORE confident IN shavING less and less. AND THAT’S REALLY WHEN I SEEN my armpits FULLY CLEAR UP.
in 2018 while home in port-au-prince, my dad RAVED bout him successfully using limes as a deodorant. he’s always had very sensitive skin. so, i’ve always known him to avoid colognes, body creams and deodorants—just au naturel—THE UTTER OPPOSITE of MY MOM, might i add. and if you’ve been to haiti, you know the sun this side loveS to keep it 100. so i HADDA trY it out. and listennnnn…it really does DEODORIZE YOUR ARMPITS! i’ve since switched over with a quickness. you squeeze a bit of lime or lemon directly into your armpit and rub it in intentionally and you’re bound to keep the bacterias from linking up for at least half the day. and if it feels too potent, dilute it with some water. and if really reapplication is needed, you can carry a bit of it with you very easily.
so, what makes lemons and limes so helpful? they’re high in Antioxidants like vitamin C—a necessary supporter of body tissue growth, and regeneration. because of their high ph levels, they also do well at removing excess oil and tightening the pores (in so doing you lessen your chances of infection and inflammation). lastly, they’re also antifungal and antibacterial. now if i were you, i wouldn’t use limes or lemons on my armpits after shaving due to potential cuts. sure, it’ll neutralize any bacteria, but it will sting most of all—like adding salt to a wound.
i can’t believe i really shaved for a whole ass decade. meanwhile, my armpit hair really just been trynna support me to be great. now, think about it.
our armpit hair protects our upper and lower arms from chafing; like buffers between skin and skin they lessen possible friction
one strand of human hair can hold as much as 3 oz. just one.
they regulate our temperature from heat insulation to cooling
with the armpits also being a delicate home to lymph nodes and arteries, hair grows there to secure them
in studying the armpits, i found articles pointing to how many find their armpits ticklish. because it’s a vulnerable part of our body that once there’s a perceived intruder, it signals our brain into attention in case of a possible attack (just like the back of neck, or knees, sole of the feet, and the bottom of the stomach). i don’t know how factual that is, but it’s something to think about
it’s believed that we start growing hair when our apocrine sweat glands are activated during puberty. these glands secrete chemicals like pheromones, for example. with our underarm hair being so absorbent, when we sweat, it traps this moisture in. in mammals, pheromones work to attract a reliably reproductive mate. it’s studied that we subconsciously can recognize those chemicals in one another. fun fact, the only other area with apocrine sweat glands is our genitals.
in absorbing the sweat, our underarm hair also pulls away the bacteria from our skin to prevent any infection. it does just the same with dirt, or other environmental influences.
circa summer 2020, posing for akirah on this tree that reminded me of human skin
it took me some time to get here. where armpit hair feels so natural. soul sexy. soul true. soul unfiltered. soul human. soul purposeful. and i’m soul happy to be here, at last. most of my process of softening my feelings around it was honestly reflecting on my why’s:
why was i taught that i’m supposed to shave?
why have i cared so much? why does it make me feel this way?
why have i been attracted to people that prefer me otherwise from my most natural presentation?
and of course, the more active mind tricks:
playing with my armpit hair. it was like getting to know a part of myself
stopped buying razors, and opted for trimming scissors. THE thought PROCESS WAS: if really i did feel particularly self-conscious, i could at least trim, you know. like i wanted to change, but i wanted still to be GENTLE and patient with my process, even when i felt resistant. and really, between michigan’s brick ass weather, and moving to a remote SWAZI village where women openly didn’t shave, i never really was challenged until tofo beach, mozambique. and i actually ended up trimming, and even still it was a step towards self-acceptance.
intentionally taking pictures where my armpit hair is visibly on display: exposure therapy lite. pre-2016, i woulda been so against taking a picture that showed my underarms, and if i wasn’t, they were oft very strategically cropped or immediately edited as black and white.
informing A persUn i’m romantically involved with of the kinda healing work i’m doing around body hair so i can suss out how compatible we really are. i’ve dated people in the past that have in one way or another voiced their preferences for a fully shaven body. and i entertained that. but not no more.
reminding myself how time consuming it actually is to emulate these socially constructed aesthetics. can you ever really outrun hair? just like aunty maxine, I hadda reclaim my time ‘cus there’s so much more i can use this precious, and invaluable currency for.
using a lil’ bit of body butter on my armpit after a shower. doing so has softened, strengthened and moisturized both the skin and hair in that area
i truly encourage you to do your own research: with your own body, as with any body of work out there. some debunking one another, some supporting. either way, let your intuitive curiosity lead you to truth, and discernment.
after all trends reflect what most choose to do. and just cause that’s the direction of many, doesn’t mean it needs be mine. and if it’s yours, then that’s you. you like it, i love it.
nuru, your reflection